Seeing good in the bad

Arabic is a frustratingly difficult language. Something I didn't think about four years ago when I decided I wanted to learn how to read and write those squiggly letters. After struggling through four years of literary Arabic in a classroom, I decided I needed to go to an Arabic speaking country and give it one last shot. Not only that, but I needed to experience first hand Arab culture, not just through relentless reading of Al-Kitab texts that dated back to the year 600 BC, but in real life. That’s what led to me Amman, Jordan this past summer to study Arabic.

After speaking with one student in my class she suggested I do a six week program that she did called Afkar Academy. I thought to myself, perfect, I can go to Jordan for six weeks, visit my boyfriend in Israel for two weeks and still be back in plenty of time to make it to my brother’s wedding in Ithaca, New York. Everything was working out perfectly and my boyfriend Dan and I had even planned trips to DC and New York together prior to leaving to our respective countries for the summer. As I was saying goodbye to my dad and was about to get in the car for the airport he asked, “So do you have your passport?” My heart dropped, I ran up to my room to search for my passport and couldn't find it anywhere. I frantically called Lucia, my old roommate, I must have left it there, but she couldn't find it. I would have to go to DC and hope my parents or Lucia were able to come up with my passport, but shortly after I arrived they both reported back that they couldn't find it anywhere. I was supposed to board a plane in less than two weeks to go to Jordan and I didn't have my passport, crap!

Later that evening when Dan and I were situated in our friend’s apartment in DC I received an e-mail. It read:

Dear Ms. Levy,

I regret to inform you due to lack of enrollment Yarmouk University is no longer able to sponsor the Afkar Academy this summer.

Best Regards,

Afkar Academy

I had been preparing for this trip to Jordan for over six months, my expectations for the summer and what that meant for my relationship were centered around me doing this program in Jordan. I could not wrap my head around what just happened. I immediately emailed the Afkar Academy asking them to help me find another program as well as my study abroad office. In addition, I sent five emails out to various programs in Jordan, Morocco, and Egypt to see if I could enroll. One simple issue of losing my passport turned into the potential loss of a life changing summer. I was devastated, but determined to find a way to make it work. I refused to stay in Champaign for the summer and learn Arabic from a book. After a few days, Afkar Academy called me and discussed the opportunity to study independently with a professor from the University of Jordan in Amman. He said me and another girl would be apart of the program and we would share a studio apartment. I was relieved; I could not believe how that had actually worked out. It wasn’t until two days before I boarded the plane that I was informed the other girl who was supposed to attend the program with me was unable to transfer her scholarship and it would be just me in Jordan this summer as part of the Afkar Academy.

I was prepared for the challenge of being an American woman in an Arab country and even hiding my Jewish identity that so many Jordanians despised, but I was in no way prepared to do this alone, with no built in network of American friends. I was scared, but I knew that this was my last opportunity to study in Jordan on a scholarship like the one I received and I was determined to make it work.

June 4, I departed on a plane to Amman as planned and began a very challenging yet rewarding summer. I had an experience that I know I wouldn't have had if I went on an organized program, yet I had enough structure to have a small support group to get by.  While the first week in Jordan was difficult socially, I entrenched myself in my studies and was able to grasp the basics of colloquial Arabic very quickly. Little did I know how important this would be in shaping the rest of my time in Jordan. As I became conversational, my teacher required me to speak with Jordanian students for four hours a day, five days a week, writing down the words I did not understand. Not only was I able to quickly learn Arabic, but I made Jordanian friends, learned about culture, politics and major challenges that Jordan faces. 

While initially I planned my trip to Jordan to primarily improve my Arabic, I realized that the real benefits came from the relationships I built, the culture I participated in, and the lifestyle I came to love and understand. Though it seemingly started out as a train wreck, the challenge only made the experience that much more meaningful and rewarding. 

What causes someone to be tolerant of "the other"?

During my summer in Jordan I was told to hide my Jewish identity and out of fear of what might happen if I did not, I complied and became Jenny Levy an American Christian for seven weeks.  During my time as an undercover Jew, I found out many terrible things people say when they do not know your true identity. Although statistics will vary, about 50% of Jordanians are of Palestinian descent, which may partially explain their general distrust of Jews and disdain of Israel (although not all Palestinians may feel this way). Nevertheless, I would mostly find Jordanians to be the nicest most welcoming people I had ever met. They always wanted to make sure I felt comfortable, was happy, and most importantly well fed. I could not imagine a nicer more welcoming culture to come to.

It was only when we broached the topic of politics that things got uncomfortable and as a Political Science Master’s student, I could not hide my interest in the politics of the Middle East. I would not say a Palestinian is wrong for disagreeing with Israeli politics, in fact right now, I feel that the Israeli government is doing a terrible job and is not a true partner for peace. However, it was the way they referred to the Jews, as in the Jewish people are all bad, not differentiating them from the government. A couple of the more ridiculous instances included a discussion on Syria and Egypt and a girl bursting out, "Its all the Jews fault!" Another time, I was trying to avoid the topic of politics but these two girls were fascinated that I was from America and asked me what I thought of Obama. They said they don’t like him because he helps the Jews too much. The icing on the cake was when my teacher told me he thought that Israel and the Jews were behind 9/11. I am hoping that my words and deep offense convinced him otherwise, but that I will never know. I found out later that night when searching the web that numerous Arab leaders told their people such lies to feed a conspiracy and hatred for Jews and Israel. I was heartbroken each time I heard someone who was so sweet to me say something so racist and awful. I had nearly given up hope, how could a peace solution come when there is such blind hatred and then I went to Ramallah and met a Greek-Palestinian who said something so seemingly unbelievably beautiful to me.

I hope to God my mom never reads this, but I went to Ramallah for a work meeting and got terribly lost on my way there. I ended up at the main office building (not the special project office where I was supposed to end up) and met this nice Greek-Palestinian with perfect English (ma sha allah!) who worked there and offered to drive me to the right place. What was so amazing about this man was what he said about Israel and Palestine. He told me of course that I should tour Ramallah and go to the nice restaurants and explore the night life but he also said that the Israelis are really nice too and it is really nice on the other side (meaning Israel) and I should explore Israel as well. 

What is it that makes this man who grew up in Jerusalem with a Palestinian mother so tolerant of Jews and not only that, but speak highly of them? While I am sure a great amount of Palestinians in the West Bank have good reason to have negative opinion of Jews as many of their interactions are with soldiers, I wonder which demographic is most tolerant and why?

I am not exactly sure whether it was because he lived in Jerusalem where there is a lot of diversity and cross-race interactions, was educated and studied and lived in the US for 7 years, was a Palestinian of mixed descent, or a combination of all of these things, but his tolerance and fresh perspective gave me hope again. 

I think that living in the Middle East, albeit a short period of time, was extremely fruitful. I learned the good and the bad of the region and mostly that there are good people everywhere. 

You can't be my liability

Today I woke up at 7 am to get ready for my overnight trip to Petra with the CIEE group. Najeh, the local director of CIEE in Amman said that he would arrange for me to join the group. I was excited to explore Wadi Ram and revisit my experience in Petra when I visited six years ago. Most importantly, I was excited to explore Jordan with friends.

Of course, we are on Jordan time so instead of boarding the bus at 8:10, as we were told, we started getting on the bus at 8:45. As I was about to get on the bus, someone came up to me and said, "Hi my name is Abu Yazan a friend of Najeh's, you aren't allowed to sleep in the same camp as the others but you can still go on the trip to Petra today....when I obviously got upset he told me to talk to Stephen (the American director with no heart or soul apparently). I talked to Stephen, clearly upset, and he told me I was absolutely not going on this trip with them and that he would cancel the trip all together if I got on that bus. When I asked him why, and begged for an exception, he responded I am a liability for him and he can't have that. I had no choice, spirit broken I walked away and asked Abu Yazan if I could go to Jeresh and Ajlon today instead.

He said yes, and you'll go to the Roman ruins in Amman as well. So I did and it was fantastic, but I was in fact alone. My driver didn't even come into the various sites with me because he didn't want to pay for a ticket. Nevertheless, I tried to make the most of things and took so many pictures, my camera died.

This picture is from the Citadel in Amman, it was a

beautiful clear day. And below is a picture from Ajlon in the castle.

It was an exhausting day, but I got to see some beautiful ruins, practice my Arabic with my driver, and eat a delicious lunch in a Syrian style restaurant. I was 30 minutes away from the Syrian border today. People in Jeresh listen for the noise of bombs going off just north of them every day. This is the reality of the Middle East right now, shocking to me how safe I felt when I was 30 minutes away from the most dangerous country in the region. 

Tonight I am going to meet up with a friend of a friend in Paris Circle to discover some night life and tomorrow I hope to go to the real "Souk Jara" now that I know where it is, and an organic fruit and vegetable market in the first circle. 

Generally, Jordanians are generous and have a cultural of hospitality and overwhelming warmth. Unfortunately, that culture is not widespread in America, and this morning I was presented with the antithesis of warmth. Regardless, no one claiming me as a liability will stop me from exploring and living in Jordan. 

Souk Jara...I mean Joura

I confidently got in a taxi this morning, heading to Souk Jara to meet up with the InterNations group. I said to the driver, Marhaba, Bedi Aroh Ala Souk Jara. He answered back, Sho? What?? and I said in Arabic, the market in the city? Again he said, Sho? and then it clicked, ooo You mean Souk Jooora....okay, sure. Online it was written Ja-ra not Joo-ra, o well. Ana Asef, I'm sorry, I said, I'm new here. And we were off. When we got to the entrance, it looked like a big intersection with a great deal of traffic. My driver, said not good for cars, so I got out and crossed the street. I realized that there was no clear entrance, which was where I was supposed to meet the group. I waited for 10 minutes and after being stared at a million times over, I was tired of waiting, realizing it would

be impossible to find someone who's number I don't have anywhere here.

 As I meandered around the souk, I thought that it looked like a place for people to just sell their junk on the side of the street. There were a million buses, taxis and cars driving straight through, so it was hard to maneuver through and look around.

 But when I got further in, I saw an area with fruits, vegetables,  and meats. it started to look more like the market I knew in Jerusalem. But to be honest, I've never seen anything like this before. It was more foreign and dirty than any Arab shook I

went to in Israel. 

While I didn't buy a great deal, I bought a hairdryer with a diffuser (because wet hair is not acceptable here), a Jordanian (red) kefiya, and some other essentials. I got a taxi and made it back to my house safely. There was very little traffic today because it is Al-Jomaa, the Muslim Sabbath so a lot of people are at the mosque.

So my quest for friends continues. I met up with some CIEE students last night, it has been difficult however, since they all live together and we live 20 minutes apart, so there is a bit of a disconnect. We met up on Rainbow Street, but when I got there I just waited around for an hour to go to another place. Rainbow Street is where all the westerners hang out and is a pretty good time, I got there too late to really get a seat with everyone at the table and instead hung out outside with some other people from the program I knew. 

When we got to the other cafe, Nas wa Nas on Wakalat St., it had a great Middle Eastern vibe. It was filled with hookah and a classical Arabic singer. We learned the dabka and and smoked shisha. 

I am exploring this city slowly and my Arabic is improving. Thinks are getting better...

First days in Amman

I arrived in Amman at 8 pm on Wednesday evening and slept an adequate amount on the plane and in the Paris airport, so when my teacher came to pick me up from the airport, I was more than willing to grab falafel and kinefa my first night in Jordan. I had never tasted anything so delicious as the kinefa I ate that night at Habibti. Melty cheese suggary topping with crumbled pistachios, it was heaven, and I was sad that my stomach was too full from the hummus and falafel sandwich I had earlier to finish it.

I came back home took a shower and crawled into my king size bed to feel the springs through my mattress, ahlan wa sahlan ala amman!

Since being here I've been on a virtual mission to find friends. When I went to Books@Cafe, a recommended spot for Americans seeking other Americans to hang out with, I was intimidated by the large groups of American students who seemed so cohesive and content in their mega-groups. So I returned to the internet and asked Najeh (my teacher) about meeting up with his other group of students at the CIEE.

Things are looking up, InterNations is having an event this Friday afternoon from 11-1 in the souk and in the evening at a club that I might go to. If i don't do that I'm going to J'lm this weekend to see Dan and then when I come back I will be meeting up with people from the other program which will be very exciting.

Looking forward for things to get more exciting and new friends to come.